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Song Parodies -> "This Flotsam"
Original Song Title:
"This Old Man"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"This Flotsam"
Parody Written by:
John A. Barry
The Lyrics
This Flotsam
This flotsam, there's a ton.
Pick up all that junk, my son.
CHORUS:
Get those knickknacks and gimcracks
Out of my soiled home—
This flotsam is being thrown.
This flotsam creeps into
The house like shit on a shoe.
CHORUS
This flotsam—set me free
It's piled as high as my knee!
CHORUS
This flotsam: out the door
It's two feet thick on the floor.
CHORUS
This flotsam—here's no jive—
Makes the house look like a dive.
CHORUS
This flotsam—here's a trick:
Pretend we play Pick Up Sticks.
CHORUS
This flotsam—we've filled seven
Dumpsters; it's almost like heaven.
CHORUS
This flotsam—there's a spate
Of it stacked up by the gate.
CHORUS
This flotsam—it's past 9:00
Get garbage guys on the line:
"Why are gimcracks still stacked
In front of my home!"
I screamed shrilly in the phone.
This flotsam—here for ten
Weeks. . .a strike by garbage men.
I hauled the bric-a-brac
Out back of my home,
Torched it, piled high like a dome.
This flotsam, there's a ton.
Pick up all that junk, my son.
CHORUS:
Get those knickknacks and gimcracks
Out of my soiled home—
This flotsam is being thrown.
This flotsam creeps into
The house like shit on a shoe.
CHORUS
This flotsam—set me free
It's piled as high as my knee!
CHORUS
This flotsam: out the door
It's two feet thick on the floor.
CHORUS
This flotsam—here's no jive—
Makes the house look like a dive.
CHORUS
This flotsam—here's a trick:
Pretend we play Pick Up Sticks.
CHORUS
This flotsam—we've filled seven
Dumpsters; it's almost like heaven.
CHORUS
This flotsam—there's a spate
Of it stacked up by the gate.
CHORUS
This flotsam—it's past 9:00
Get garbage guys on the line:
"Why are gimcracks still stacked
In front of my home!"
I screamed shrilly in the phone.
This flotsam—here for ten
Weeks. . .a strike by garbage men.
I hauled the bric-a-brac
Out back of my home,
Torched it, piled high like a dome.
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User Comments
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Housecleaning lately?
JB, have you considered switching to a decaffeinated coffee? ;)
I think you just described my neighbor's property. About 10 cars, 2 jeeps, 6 trucks, 7 motorhomes, 5 boats and a bus all on 1/2 acre. Plus tons of other misc. stuff...
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