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Song Parodies -> "Blondes Make Me Quiver, I'm Tiger Woods"
Original Song Title:
"Over the River and Through the Woods"
Original Performer:
Traditional
Parody Song Title:
"Blondes Make Me Quiver, I'm Tiger Woods"
Parody Written by:
John Jenkins
The Lyrics
In 1844, Lydia Maria Child wrote the original poem, which depicts the excitement of a joyful Thanksgiving. 165 years later, Tiger Woods did not have a joyful Thanksgiving. Kudos to Timmy1000 who also came up with the idea of using this orginal poem/song for this topic - only 4 days before I did.
Blondes make me quiver, I’m Tiger Woods;
My passion I can’t control.
It makes my wife weep, but I cannot keep
My balls out of the wrong hole.
Pro golfers shiver when Tiger Woods
Is the man they have to beat.
They usually choke and make awkward strokes,
Like I do with blondes I meet.
A lavish liver, I’m Tiger Woods;
I travel near and far:
New York to Melbourne, my shaft is well-worn,
But I still keep breaking par.
Over some rivers and into the woods,
A lot of long drives I’ve sprayed.
But now, woe is me, ‘cause into a tree
I’ve driven my Excalade.
I will deliver to Mrs. Woods
A confession of my sin.
If she can’t forgive it, she’ll take a new divot
Out of my unfaithful chin.
She’s a forgiver, she’s Mrs. Woods;
But so she won’t have a cow,
It is a sad fact my pre-nup contract
Makes her the boss starting now.
My passion I can’t control.
It makes my wife weep, but I cannot keep
My balls out of the wrong hole.
Pro golfers shiver when Tiger Woods
Is the man they have to beat.
They usually choke and make awkward strokes,
Like I do with blondes I meet.
A lavish liver, I’m Tiger Woods;
I travel near and far:
New York to Melbourne, my shaft is well-worn,
But I still keep breaking par.
Over some rivers and into the woods,
A lot of long drives I’ve sprayed.
But now, woe is me, ‘cause into a tree
I’ve driven my Excalade.
I will deliver to Mrs. Woods
A confession of my sin.
If she can’t forgive it, she’ll take a new divot
Out of my unfaithful chin.
She’s a forgiver, she’s Mrs. Woods;
But so she won’t have a cow,
It is a sad fact my pre-nup contract
Makes her the boss starting now.
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Voting Breakdown
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| 5 | 14 | 14 | 14 |
User Comments
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John, thanks for the note and great follow-up in the Tiger story. After four days, a lot has changed and this is like reading chapter two. I'm sure there will be more chapters in this saga.
Fore......no fives! great take on the Tiger's "tale"!!
Very funny...lots of great double-take lines..the best I've seen on Tiger's problems
Swell variation on the title lines, and each verse ended with a great pun or gag. "Forgive it/divot" was a inspired couplet. Well played, John.
Ahhh Sir Jenkins, so you are sweet on Swedes, eh ?
Another excellent approach (cheap) shot! Par 5-5-5! ;D
This parody is more than good--it's grrr-reat! Whoops, wrong tiger. lol Anyway, 555
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