Slappa my face with your foot and greased up hands
Slappa my face with your foot and greased up hands
Handcuff my wrists and let me drink from a wet bedpan
Oh, slappa my face

So pink, girlscouts eat off of it
So red, airplanes land onto it
So swollen, Hispanics want to batter it
Oh, slappa my face

Wacka my ass with your brastrap and soapy cans
Wacka my ass with your brastrap and soapy cans
Redden my bum with a folded up Chinese fan
Oh, wacka my ass

So pale, the sun reflects off of it
So fat, pigs are aroused by it
So chunky, cottage cheese is made from it
Oh, wacka my ass

Now, jacka my tool in the bosoms of babes with gams
Jacka my tool in the bosoms of babes with gams
Throttle my tool with your Kung Fu grip, Mamasan
Oh, jacka my tool

So fat, I can't get around t_ts
So tall, I can't climb over ti_s
So wet, I can't help slippin' in
Oh, jacka my tool!