Please don't purposely state an incorrect "two" for the sake of rhyme, and then write "8, actually" as a corrective footnote. Is this a symptom of churning out 101 parodies in 15 days to dump on us in one load? What happened to disavowing the arbitrary goal of 4K? I am in awe of your prolificacy, but I abhor your immodesty and lack of propriety. To read all your submissions is like gorging on pounds of chocolate. Consuming even a tasty product can be cloying when it is done to wretched excess. I, for one, have better things to do. It's tough to criticize God, but today I've become an atheist. The best to you and everyone.

'Heeeeere's Johnny!' (Tonight Show announcer).
'Oh, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny, Johnny' (Christopher Walken's character in 'Things to do in Denver when you're Dead')
'Oh, no John, no John, no John no' (trad. English folk song)

1 Who's going to read them, let alone comment? I'm certainly not, and I know how good you are. And there are some really interesting OSs and seductive titles tucked away in this 91-gun salute (yes, I counted them) indicating your incredible range and virtuosity - the Fugs and Tom Lehrer, for example, are legendary parodists. And if this one, that I had to open, is any indication, I'll be missing out on some fine reading. Find a book publisher and I'll take them on the train with me.

2 Are you just trying to break some sort of record? If so, what record? You're already so far ahead of the game no one can touch you, and are generally acknowledged as 'the master' (and it's not the first time I've called you that).

3 How are other contributors and their potential readers going to locate their work? There could be some good stuff put up today but it will take me a while to find it and offer some feedback. Sorry folks, you'll just have to wait. I'm kinda busy at the moment.

3 How can I get my own work posted? I submitted a piece a few hours ago, in plenty of time for the weekend postings, so I thought. It was a complicated 'Big Seven' attempt which took me several days, and only my second submission in two months. I sweated (literally) to get it done in time. It's not here. (I'm not positive about that, actually, I'll need a few minutes to check again.) Looks like I'll have to wait, too. Disappointing, as I thought it was one of my better ones and was looking forward to some response to it, especially from an expert like you.

4 Why are you encouraging another prolific poster to set his sights on sheer bulk alone, who works hard at it and is very knowledgeable in certain fields, but doesn't have your ability to sustain endlessly your peerless wordcraft. That emulator also has dodgy voting strategies and unlike you, flaunts an aggressive brand of rightwing/creationist/gun lobby politics. Your competitions with him to see who can produce the most parodies of a given song could easily be a private affair, with you two publishing the mutually agreed cream of them.

5 Are you aware this compulsive behavior may be putting people off the site? It seems more than coincidence that several notable contributors have fallen off their perches lately, though I know people tend to come and go without explanation. And if Newbies see the site dominated by one or two individuals, it's discouraging for them too.

Finally, not only do you know well enough my admiration for your talent, but you've shown me considerable respect and acknowledgment for my own efforts from time to time. You do take the trouble to spread yourself around. But I must say your comments tend to be terse, punny and pithy compared to your parody work. If you must write, or you write therefore you are, and I empathize as well as anyone with that syndrome, you have so much valuable critical advice to offer others. Personally, I'd like to see you putting more time into that.

When you begged off the site a month or so ago, I thought it was a pity but at least the site would be less cluttered. I was pretty sure you'd be back, but not like this. Less is more. Please try and contain yourself and keep us hungry for your words. I might browse a few of these over the weekend but I can't promise anything.

I suppose this site is all things to all people and we all use it for our own ends, but I can't see the point of sharing something I've written if I don't want to know or don't care what other people think. Did that line work? Was that funny? What did and didn't you like? What about the concept, etc. etc. But that's just me, I guess.

LL: It was a 101-gun salute (yes, I counted them -- twice.) This brings him to the 4,001 mark, to which he ardently aspired. I hope his satisfaction lasts a couple of days, until the obsession with 5K sets in. At least he has something to have carved on his tombstone. I suggest a parody, rather than an epitaph.