Two-timing housewives with husbands who are gay,
Lesbian bikers all dressed up in lingerie,
People and chairs flying like they had wings,
These are my favorite Jerry Springer things.

Bitter ex-spouses who never have mellowed,
Porn stars and transvestites wrestling in Jello,
Bodily parts pierced by ten thousand rings,
These are my favorite Jerry Springer things.

Oh those censors,
Our defensors,
Jerry drives them nuts,
They take all the good stuff right out of his show
And he markets all the cuts.

Jerry says he'll change but I hope he does not,
There's a real value that his programs have got,
Take a kid like me who's only 13,
For me it has done some very good things.

When we think we're really worthless,
And we're oh so sad,
We see all the losers on the Springer show,
And then we don't feel so bad.


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