Oh god, I'm straining
And it's not containing
It's spilling out and smelling ripe
The farts as I sigh
Have smeared in my eye
I'm fighting all day... and night

And I haven't seen it this size... in years

Thrust every way
For it may take all day
I'm gonna pay for my constipation always
I bend as I stare
I was not aware
How good it feels to heave... tonight

And I haven't felt so much slide... in years

My mooooon
Is shaking off a pie
Reminding me
Of so many taco bites

Guess I'll squat all tonight

Colon inflaming
My tendons are spraining
I'll never eat bran with regret
Sneer as I groan
Bruised my tailbone
I feel the misery while prone tonight

And a half a pound grows inside... in years

My mooooon
Is shaking off a pie
Reminding me
Of so many taco bites

When my rectum is so red
I'll eat bananas instead
But squat tonight

[sounds of groaning in harmony]