Hell! My chowdah's full o' sand
(This chow's sandy, also bland).
And the taste is not too grand.
Canned stuff I once thought was vile,
But mine don't make dinahs smile.

Cold enough, this stuff I could name
"Vichyssoise". . .taxonomic game.
It is taxin' this crew to taste
This gastronomic shame.

Hellish stew bequeaths disgust
(Smells like ooze beneath scab's crust)
To your buds, breached and nonplussed.
Otto asks: "What's in this, shad?"
Sotto voce: "Man, it's bad!"

Cold enough, this stuff I could name
"Hollandaise". . .taxonomic game.
It is taxin' this crew to taste
This gastronomic shame.

"Help!" a woman dinah screams
(Whelk ain't what her eyes just seen),
"This is not a piece of bream!"
Purplish pisciform swims around
In theah and its piranhar, I'm bound.

Cold enough, this snuffed fish I'd name
"Sashimi". . .taxonomic game.
Would be taxin' to chew, but taste
Bettah than this stew shame.