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Song Parodies -> "Rayciss"
Original Song Title:
"Raindrops"
(MP3)Original Performer:
Dee Clark
Parody Song Title:
"Rayciss"
Parody Written by:
Immoral Liberal
The Lyrics
So, to the surprise of remarkably few, the live-action remake of The Little Mermaid starring Halle Bailey sank at the box office and lost loads of money. How could it flop after Disney did everything it possibly could (other than, y'know, actually make a good movie) to stack the deck in its favor? Well, here's its official explanation:
A-rayciss,
So very rayciss;
It seems we're rayciss
For not hating white guys...
For not hating whites.
After it got blackwashed,
Little Mermaid bombed.
Could not make back its money:
Target audience stayed home;
Parents and kids stayed home.
Blame must be dropped on our white heads,
Staying away out of white spite.
Oh no, can't be Disney's fault
For erasing redheads and whites!
So we must be rayciss,
So very rayciss;
It seems we're rayciss
For not hating white guys...
For not hating whites.
[Instrumental]
O-o-oh! Blame must rest right square on white heads
That the box office went down-down.
Oh no, can't be it just sucked;
Must be 'cause the lead's skin is brown!
Guess we must be rayciss,
So very rayciss;
They deem us rayciss
'Cause we won't hate white-kind
Won't hate our own kind.
Disney's appalling!
Pays critics to lie!
Whoo-hoo-wee! Even so, watch its movies die;
Lose money and die...
So very rayciss;
It seems we're rayciss
For not hating white guys...
For not hating whites.
After it got blackwashed,
Little Mermaid bombed.
Could not make back its money:
Target audience stayed home;
Parents and kids stayed home.
Blame must be dropped on our white heads,
Staying away out of white spite.
Oh no, can't be Disney's fault
For erasing redheads and whites!
So we must be rayciss,
So very rayciss;
It seems we're rayciss
For not hating white guys...
For not hating whites.
[Instrumental]
O-o-oh! Blame must rest right square on white heads
That the box office went down-down.
Oh no, can't be it just sucked;
Must be 'cause the lead's skin is brown!
Guess we must be rayciss,
So very rayciss;
They deem us rayciss
'Cause we won't hate white-kind
Won't hate our own kind.
Disney's appalling!
Pays critics to lie!
Whoo-hoo-wee! Even so, watch its movies die;
Lose money and die...
My top 5 reasons why the live-action Little Mermaid remake sucked:
5. The "realistic" CGI birds and fish are about as emotionally expressive as a block of wood.
4. Unlike in the original, the "Under The Sea" sequence showed absolutely none of the undersea creatures actually doing what the lyrics described them as doing.
3. The derailing of Eric's character rendered any romantic chemistry between him and Ariel all but nonexistent.
2. "The Scuttlebutt" was such an auditory atrocity that it might be a violation of the Geneva Convention to force prisoners of war to listen to it.
1. Whichever hack writer decided to cut Chef Louis and his hilariously macabre "Les Poissons" song from the script in favor of all the other crap with which the remake was somehow padded out to more than two hours should be grateful that (at least for now) such execrable writing can only get one fired rather than executed.
5. The "realistic" CGI birds and fish are about as emotionally expressive as a block of wood.
4. Unlike in the original, the "Under The Sea" sequence showed absolutely none of the undersea creatures actually doing what the lyrics described them as doing.
3. The derailing of Eric's character rendered any romantic chemistry between him and Ariel all but nonexistent.
2. "The Scuttlebutt" was such an auditory atrocity that it might be a violation of the Geneva Convention to force prisoners of war to listen to it.
1. Whichever hack writer decided to cut Chef Louis and his hilariously macabre "Les Poissons" song from the script in favor of all the other crap with which the remake was somehow padded out to more than two hours should be grateful that (at least for now) such execrable writing can only get one fired rather than executed.
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Voting Breakdown
The following represent how many people voted for each category.
| Pacing | How Funny | Overall Rating | |||||||||
| 1 | 2 | 2 | 2 | ||||||||
| 2 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 3 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 4 | 0 | 0 | 0 | ||||||||
| 5 | 247 | 247 | 247 |
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